Our Story / Hope

As told by Gary Freeman...


We have five children – Daniel, Joshua, Desiree and Krista and our foster daughter, Delia.  We began our married life in Idaho and are currently between homes in Arizona and Idaho. Over the years we have taken our family across the country, and the world, having lived (and in several states in many places) in Idaho, Texas, Mali – West Africa, Utah, Mississippi, and Arizona.

I have been married to my lovely wife, Denise, for 29 years, as of our anniversary in 2011.  We have both served missions for our church in foreign countries (the Philippines and British Columbia, Canada – Canada admittedly not being too foreign) and have both worked with children and youth throughout the years as a part of Cub Scout and Boy Scout programs around the country. We have served as leaders and teachers in the nursery and primary (children under the age of 12) programs of our church and with the young men and young women organizations as well.  We have also instructed adults and served in the men’s and women’s organizations of our church. After long, interesting, and eventful lives we have a personal understanding of the losses and trials that can come, often times unbidden, into the lives of family members and families as a whole. 

We have served as foster parents and having moved dozens of times are well versed in the challenges of moving and changing and constantly saying goodbye to old friends and hello to the new. Prior to the loss of our second son, Joshua, we had comforted dear friends and relatives who had bid goodbye to their children early under tragic circumstances.  Nothing prepared us for the loss of our own son and after losing Joshua in 2008 we realized how little we understood about what it meant, and how it felt, to lose a child under any set of circumstances.

The loss, and suicide, of Joshua was a tremendous blow to us as a family and it has taken a long time to even partially heal.  After two years family members were finally able to discuss Joshua together without shedding too many tears. We began to remember the good times fondly together and smile as we talked about our experience more. We are extremely thankful to those who showed us so much love and support while he was in the hospital, and after he passed away, because without the help of our dear friends, family, and others it would have been extremely difficult to recover from Joshua’s loss.  The real comfort has been found in turning to the Savior for healing.  Rather than hide the fact that Joshua was lost to suicide we decided to open up about his story, and our feelings and emotions so that others could understand our loss and the problem it entailed. We opened up so that others could help those they loved to heal, and help provide support and strength to their own children. 

Our second son, Joshua, was born in the Timbuktu Region of Mali, West Africa in 1986 while I was working on a small scale irrigation project (i.e. small individual farm plots).  Joshua was a wonderful son, diligent, extremely bright, with a wonderful understanding of right and wrong and he was growing up to be a wonderful man with an exceedingly bright future.  He began to suffer from depression and eventually took his own life in July of 2008.  It was only through the assistance and example of friends and others who had lost children that we were able to survive and begin the process of healing.  The combination of a firm faith in Jesus Christ, His sacrifice for us, and our belief and trust in a loving God who knows the end from the beginning was our main stay and strength during this time of extreme trial and adversity. 

Nearly two years after Joshua’s death the idea for this institute came to me and it kept coming back again and again.  The feeling that there was a need for this Institute in the world so that families could have a place where they could begin to recover from the suicide, or the sudden loss, of a family member kept returning.  Finally in the fall of 2010 I decided to act on the feelings and impressions I was having and trust in God to provide a way as I moved forward. I talked with my wife and children and together we have formed this Institute.  It is our hope, as a family, that this Institute and the work we will do together will meet the needs of families experiencing, and dealing with, the difficulties of healing before them. 

We desire to be a help to those who are still struggling to understand why and to help those are who are just entering into the grieving process understand that others have gone down this path before and that by helping one another we, too, can recover from the tragedies that have come, unbidden, into our lives. We hope to walk side by side down the path of recovery with those who have suffered and who may not be as far down the path as we find ourselves in this moment. Together we can move down the path of recovery and together discover hope, joy, and peace once again.  If you have been down this path and desire to help, we would welcome your support – whether it come in the form of time, resources, or simply a hand spreading the word.